All posts tagged with: Advice

Photo credit: Jay Minter

The mercury is starting to rise and that means it’s time to change running patterns and habits. Hot temperatures are dangerous for endurance sport and marathon runners. Understanding the risks and how to avoid getting into a serious situation, or even worse, death, is important.

Training for a marathon is significantly easy in the cooler months like fall or spring. As the temperatures rise, the body isn’t used to the hot weather and hasn’t been conditioned. This is when marathon runners run into serious complications, such as cramping and heat exhaustion, that can hamper their race time or end up in a medical tent with a DNF. Understanding how to avoid these dangers is important.

It is important to help the body adapt to the significantly warmer temperatures. As muscles and internal organs heat up, blood moves the heat to the skins surface. On the surface, skin begins to sweat, which cools the body back down. In as short as two weeks of training, the body can adapt to the warmer conditions, dramatically improving circulation and sweat capacity.

During this transition time, training runs may need to be shortened or done at a slower pace. More importantly, the body will require a dramatic increase in both water and electrolytes to stay hydrated so your body has the fluids it needs to keep sweating. You may also want to change your training times to earlier in the morning when the temperatures are at the daily low.

Get out and enjoy the summer sunshine and remember to adapt your training program to build your strength and exercise.

Summer vacation season is here! Make the most of of your upcoming trip by travelling smart and avoid making these costly mistakes that can ruin your vacation.

1. Forget to book the hotel. Ok, so you probably won’t forget to book a hotel, but when you are booking a hotel, make sure you triple check the dates. It sucks when you show up at the front desk and the reservation isn’t until the next day or you haven’t booked enough nights. It can cost an arm and a leg to add extra nights, especially when the front desk knows you have nowhere else to go.
2. Get sick. Nothing sucks more than spending your entire vacation in the washroom because you are sick. Stick to drinking bottled water. Also try taking taking an immunity booster like Emergen-. Yogurt should become your best friend too; it immediately helps with unsettled stomachs and digestion problems, which causes a lot of people grief. Coffee can also upset your body when travelling, so stick to green and herbal teas.
3. Share everything on social media. Even for the most connected people on social media, you need downtime to actually enjoy the place that you are at and what is going on in the moment. If you spend your entire time tweeting, instagramming, Facebooking, and vining, how are you ever going to enjoy your trip? It’s your trip after all, not your followers. Are you just going to go home and look at the tweets and pictures later to see if you had a good time or not? Seriously, put the iPhone down for an hour or two – you’ll survive!
4. Avoid setting expectations with travel companions. Everyone as some point takes a trip with friends and regrets it later. If you are planning to travel with friends, set out the ground rules while planning the vacation. You don’t have to go everywhere together and do all the same things. It should be ok to sleep in, go back to the hotel for a nap, decide to go to the art gallery instead of the museum, or have drinks at the pool instead of going for lunch. It’s your vacation – enjoy it!
5. Party hard. Unless you’re plans are to go on a circuit party vacation where you know you’ll be out late every night, sleeping in the next day and waking up with massive hang-over, it’s advised not to go out drinking and partying every night. There are exceptions. For example, if you’re going to New Orleans or Las Vegas, there should be an expectation that you’re going to be out late and a bit hung over in the morning. For the most part, it’s reasonable to have a couple of drinks, but try to get a good night sleep so you can get out the next day and enjoy the city. It sucks getting home from a vacation and realize that you were too hung over the entire time that you didn’t even get to see any of the local sights or attractions.

When most parents find out their child is gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered, their first reaction is usually emotional, followed by causes for concern. It’s natural for parents to want to protect their children from harm. But their #1 fear when their child comes out is almost always HIV/AIDS.

It can take a child weeks, months, or even years, to muster up the courage to come out. During that time, the child has asked themselves a lot of questions, to make sure that it’s the right thing for them to do. It’s a calculated risk, and not a conversation that is just brought up in casual conversation is most cases.

In the case of parents of gay sons, after they get over their initial emotional reaction of the new information, their thoughts tend to immediately fall towards one of the perceived #1 issues for gay men; HIV/AIDS. Even in recent blog posts with both my mom and my dad, they both admit that their major fears included HIV/AIDS.

It’s a legitimate concern; since the mid 1980’s, HIV/AIDS has had the highest infection rate between gay men. However, HIV/AIDS is not a disease limited to gay men.

For the past three decades there has been significant awareness and education programs targeted to reduce the spread and infection rates amongst the gay community. HIV/AIDS can be transmitted through a number of other ways including heterosexual sex, intravenous drug use, and blood transfusions, just to name a few.

Today, most gay youth and men understand the importance of practicing safer sex. It’s the way today’s generation is educated in school, online, and through social experiences. Condoms are readily available through community outreach programs, drug stores, and at many night clubs and bars. Condoms and sex are no longer taboo topics; it’s part of being a mature, sexually responsible individual.

While most individuals would prefer to remain HIV negative throughout their life, should they contract the virus, it’s no longer an immediate death sentence. A vast amount of research has been done over the past three decades, since the world epidemic was announced, and new drugs and treatments are being used with great success. Many men living with HIV/AIDS today lead very normal, healthy, active lifestyles.

Parents, when your child comes out to you, be there to support them on their journey. They will be scared, nervous, and be looking for your strength and encouragement. Reassure them of your unconditional love. The news may be shocking, difficult, or expected, but don’t immediately worry that your child being gay means that they will get HIV/AIDS and die. Those days are in the past. Embark on an education journey with your son to both learn about ways of practicing safer sex and the real facts and statistics on HIV/AIDS. You’ll be glad you did!

If you have questions about HIV/AIDS, visit the Positive Living Society of BC website. You can also make a financial contribution today to help them with their fundraising goal for the Scotiabank Half Marathon this June.

Experienced runners love the science behind running, paying close attention to nutrition, training regimes, technical fabrics, fuel belts, shoes, and the list goes on. What runners don’t understand is the importance of rest and sleep. It is just as important as training to ensure proper recovery and a good race.

Sleep experts recommend the average person sleep seven hours per night and to wake up naturally, not to an alarm. Good luck with that! Runners, just like the rest of the world, lead very busy lives with work, family, and training commitments. There just isn’t always time for sleep, but runners need to make time, just like they need to make time for training. Not sleeping isn’t an option.

There are many factors that play in to how much sleep a person needs per night. Stress can play a major role in sleep patterns; higher stress means less sleep. Insufficient sleep can also wear down the body’s immune system, which is under more pressure during training season. During peak training, extra sleep is required to help the body recover faster and more efficiently.

If you cannot get a sufficient amount of sleep, 20-minute power naps are acceptable. Naps are best taken after long runs or throughout the later morning or early afternoon. It’s not recommended to sleep past 3pm because it can affect your night’s sleep.

Pre-race, just like nutrition, the night before is less important, especially for longer distance like half and full marathons. The longer the race, the more days you should be getting more rest. For example, half marathon runners should get extra sleep three or four nights consecutive before the race. Marathon runners will want to go to bed early five consecutive nights before the run, plus find additional nap and rest times the two days before the race. It is expected that the night before the race, runners will get less sleep because of the anticipation and excitement; this will not impact race day if you get the advance recommended sleep.

“Mom, dad, do you have a moment? There’s something I want to tell you.”

Coming out is one of the scariest moments for gay people, especially youth. It’s full of emotion and takes a lot of strength and courage. Making the decision to come out is difficult and takes time.

Here are 10 questions you will want to think about and ask yourself before coming out:

1. Is it the right time? Make sure you are in a good emotional state, of sound mind, and in a comfortable position in life. You cannot predict how people will react and you need to be prepared that no matter the outcome that you are comfortable with those reactions and will be fine no matter the response. Ensure you have a stable foundation and have a clear mind.
2. Are you emotionally ready? It’s never good to come out after breaking up with someone or after the death of a loved one. Coming out takes everyone time to process the information and to adjust to the news. Do it at a time when people are in good spirits. If you’re coming out over Christmas, maybe not make it Christmas morning when opening presents, and definitely not after everyone has had a few too many rum & eggnog. After a Sunday barbeque dinner would be a good time, when everyone is relaxed and enjoying themselves.
3. Have you anticipated the questions you’ll be asked? Yes, there will be questions – many questions! Be prepared for questions and topics ranging from how do you know you are gay, to safer sex, to threats of bullying. Some questions you might be comfortable with, others might be more embarrassing or awkward. Regardless of the questions, always answer honestly. If you don’t know the question, see if you can look up the answers online, research the answer together, or agreed to get the answer and to get back to them in a reasonable amount of time.
4. Will you be able to remain calm? Emotions will run high! Expect everything from tears of joy to words of anger. Just remember to be calm and don’t over react. Refrain from shouting and insults if the conversation turns negative.
5. Can you support yourself? Make sure you have resources like a secure place to stay, money for food, and a safe place to go if you need someone to talk to afterwards. Youth may need to consider options of staying with another family member including aunts/uncles, grandparents, older siblings, or other extended family if it’s not safe to stay at home.
6. Do you have a support network? Youth should look to gay/straight alliances in participating schools, school counselors, or other peers in the community to reach out to if they have questions or need someone to talk to. Parents can access online resources or join a support group, like PFLAG.
7. Have you thought about how you want to come out? It’s not recommended to come out while intoxicated, in a moving car, or in a crowded, public location. Choose a private setting where you are comfortable sharing your news. Do it on your terms and don’t drag it out; get to the point, and quickly.
8. Who are you going to come out to? Sometimes it’s easier to come out to a friend or family member first. Start off by telling the most important person you can trust more important secret to. Predict their reactions. They can support you and help you with your emotions and to deal with your news. You don’t have to tell everyone at the same time. Do it as you feel comfortable.
9. Have you prepared for negative reactions? Sometimes people can get really angry. Have a plan to remove yourself from the situation, safely. Know who you can turn to for help and advice. Never allow yourself to get put into physical danger.
10. Are you proud of who you are? The equality movement has taken giant leaps forward in recent decades. Being gay is not considered to be bad. Peoples views are changing for the better. New laws and protection of equal rights are being implemented around the world. Understand that you are not alone. Many people have helped build a strong, safe community, so you can be comfortable and confident in who you are.

Photo Credit: Jay Minter

With a little common sense and taking some precautions, running outdoors can be quite safe. Here are the top 15 tips for runners to protect themselves and to be safe:

1. Carry identification. Carry your name, address, a friend or relatives telephone number and your blood type on the inside sole of your running shoe or tied to a lace. Include other relevant medical information.

2. Carry a quarter for an emergency telephone call.

3. Do not wear jewelry.

4. Make sure your friends or relatives know your favorite running routes. Leave the routes written down somewhere. If possible, inform someone of which route you are running.

5. Run in familiar areas and alter your route pattern. Know the location of telephones, businesses and stores on your routes.

6. Avoid unpopulated areas, deserted streets and overgrown trails. Especially avoid unlit areas at night. Run clear of parked cars and bushes.

7. Stay alert. The more you are aware, the less vulnerable you are.

8. Do not wear headphones. Use your hearing to be aware of your surroundings.

9. Ignore verbal harassment. Use discretion in acknowledging strangers. Look directly at others and be observant. Keep your distance and keep moving.

10. Run against traffic so you can easily see approaching automobiles.

11. Wear reflective material if you must run before or after dark.

12. Use your intuition about suspicious persons and areas. Call the police immediately if something happens to you or if you notice anything out of the ordinary during your run.

13. Carry a whistle or noisemaker. Some runners carry pepper sprays in case of dog attacks.

14. Look directly at others and be observant, keep your distance and keep moving.

15. Run facing traffic so you can observe approaching cars

Hurray! It’s race week. After 17 weeks of training it all comes down to the big day. Hopefully you have made it through training with little or no injuries, or you’ve taken some time off to recover. Remember to get lots of sleep this week, start carb-loading by Wednesday evening, make healthy eating choices, and drink lots of water. If this is your first marathon, or if you’re a veteran, here are some important tips for race day:

1. Wake up early. At least 3 hours before the race so you can hydrate, have breakfast, and arrive at the start line without being rushed. Suggested breakfast: 1 cup of oatmeal with honey, banana, and a 30 oz sports drink.
2. Wear your training gear! Remember, don’t try anything new race day. Wear the same shirt, shorts, socks and shoes that you wore during your training on race day. Remember to use lots of Body Glide.
3. Make sure you have your timing chip on your shoe and your race bib on your shirt before you leave the house. Also make sure you bring your ID, medical card, $20 cash / credit card, hydration belt, and nutrition.
4. Arrive at the marathon start area one hour early. Go to your corral and gear check 30 minutes before start time. Use the washroom. Be ready and in position 5 minutes before start time.
5. Focus on your goal. Set three goals: to cross the finish line, the time you tell your friends that you expect to finish, and your whisper time. Your whisper time if the time you quietly tell yourself as you approach the start line.
6. Listen to your body. It will tell you when it needs nutrition, hydration, when you need to slow down, or when you can speed up. If the pain becomes unbearable, take a walk-break, but keep going. You may need to stretch along the route, especially if it’s a hot day and you become dehydrated.
7. Start off slowly. Most runners make the costly mistake of leaving the start line too quickly. This causes burn-out early in the race. Check your pace 1km into the course; you should be at your exact pace time, otherwise, adjust your speed.
8. Take your walk breaks. If you trained with 10:1 or 20:1 walk-breaks, use them on race day too. Again, nothing changes race day. It’s like any other training run, except today you get a medal at the end of your run.
9. Take advantage of hydration and nutrition stations. Get a drink and fuel your body. 42.2km is a long ways to go and your body needs the energy to get there. Once depleted, it’s almost impossible to boost energy or hydration levels mid-race, so stay on top of it.
10. Upright and standing! Remember, as you approach the finish line to give your biggest smile and throw your arms above your head. You want to show the crowd you are a confident marathon runner and to have a photo finish that you can treasure for the rest of your life. Don’t worry about stopping your pace-watch – do that when they are putting the medal around your neck.

After you’ve crossed the finish line, keep walking, catch your breath, and get a drink of water. Take a moment to recall the great moments of your race. Enjoy the time of being together with other marathoners, friends, family, race organizers and volunteers. Celebrate your success and proudly wear your medal the entire day!

Congratulations on completing almost four solid months of dedicated training! It’s am impressive feat. The next two weeks is the final push to the start-line, and it is an important  time for marathon runners; it’s called tapering.

“Tapering is the fine art of rest,” explains Running Room founder and CEO, John Stanton. “The more you rest the final week the better you will run on race day.”

More than just rest, this time period is also used for mental preparation, allowing the body to repair itself for the big race, and to store valuable fuels for race day.

Keep focused on maintaining the daily intake of carbohydrates, especially in the final five days leading up to the marathon. If you prepare correctly throughout the week, carb-loading the night prior to the race isn’t as critical. Also keep in mind to decrease your meal portion size and quantity of snack because your body is burning less calories because you are running less distance.

“You have passed your test during the miles of training, race day if your graduation day,” said John Stanton, encouraging marathon runners at the end of their training program.

The secret to tapering is to do all runs relaxed and easy. Runs should keep your legs loose with a couple of easy accelerations to remind you of how it feels to run fast. If you have anxiety of the upcoming race day, use it positively during your remaining training runs.

Keep positive and stay focused throughout the taper period. Recite these words if you are ever in doubt of your training:

I am strong. I am fit. I can do it! I see myself crossing the finish line with a smile!

Here are five important tips to remember during the taper period:

1. Stick to the training schedule. It’s temping to do additional training, but trust the schedule, the hard work is behind you and it’s time to let the body rest and recover.
2. Drink an extra glass of water each day, to help flush the body of toxins.
3. Eliminate all fat from your diet. Stay away from deep fried foods, ice cream, refined sugar, and alcohol.
4. Reduce caffine intake. In the week leading up to race day, try to eliminate all coffee, energy drinks and pop.
5. Take advantage of the reduced training time to get extra sleep. It will help the body heal.

During the tapering period, you may experience what is called phantom pain.

Phantom pains are when you sense the feeling of pain, but you cannot clearly distinguish if it really hurts or not. What’s actually happening is the tissues are repairing themselves on the microscopic level, causing muscle twitches and sometimes muscle cramps. With less running and more time to think about the marathon, there is increased noticed of aches and pains, which we would typically ignore, but during taper, these sensations are exaggerated to the point of insanity.  To help with phantom pains, it’s important to continue with regular Epsom salt baths and to visit a massage therapist.

If you’ve made the choice to get into adult entertainment and aren’t sure how to get started, you’re not alone. Many of the top entertainers themselves weren’t sure how to get started either and just figured it out along their way.

“If you’re going to do, then go all out,” said recently retired gay porn star, Travis Irons. “When I first started porn, I turned down so many jobs with the biggest companies in the business, and I didn’t really take it too serious.”

For most guys getting into the industry, it’s not always best to apply to all the big studios. There are fantastic smaller studios that can help you start out your career. You can take time to develop your character and get comfortable on set.

“I think if I would have taken ever job offer and taken it more serious, then I would have been in the ranks with the highest porn stars in the business,” Travis explained. “Also, there are a lot of pre-Madonna’s and cunty queens in this business. I can think of a few off the top of my head, but I won’t mention names.”

Many guys who are experienced in the adult entertainment industry advise to keep your business to yourself, be professional, and avoid falling into the drama. Remain true to yourself and always be respectful of yourself, and others.

“Stay in shape, out of trouble, and don’t do drugs,” said Travis, giving his most important suggestions to newcomers. Most agents and studios want to work with people who are honest, hard working, and have good ethics. Take care of yourself, and they’ll take care of you.

“I would definitely hope I am looked at by people at a role model,” said Travis. While he has recently retired, he is still admired by many of his loyal fans. “A lot of people look down on those of us who do porn and I think most people would not look at a ‘porn star’ as a role model, but who knows, maybe someone out there does.”

Today, Travis is focused on his full-time studies in post-secondary, but still makes guest appearances and dances at clubs in Texas.

Photo: Running Room

Getting outside for a run should be fun and enjoyable. However, there are plenty of things that can go wrong. Understanding basic safety is essential for every runner. While some of these tips may seen too basic or strange to some people, the are all to poignant to others.

1. Carry Identification. Keep a copy of your drivers license, health/insurance card, medical information, blood type, and list of emergency numbers in your running belt or inside your running shoe. Keep it in a ziplock bag so it stays dry. If you’re ever in an accident or emergency situation medical professionals need to know whom you are and how to take action.
2. Spare change. Keep a few dollars of spare change in your running belt. It may come in handy if you need to make an emergency phone call or take a bus if you cannot finish your run.
3. Know your run route. Run in familiar areas and alter your route pattern. Know where you can get help along your route. Inform a friend of family member know your run route.
4. Avoid unpopulated areas. Deserted streets, overgrown trails, unlit areas, parked cars, and bushes are all places danger can lurk for unsuspecting solo runners.
5. Don’t wear headphones. When running along, or in a group, it’s important to know what is going on around you and to be able to hear warnings of danger.
6. Ignore verbal harassment. If a stranger begins being verbally aggressive, keep moving; use discretion when acknowledging strangers. Keep your distance.
7. Go against the flow. Run against traffic so you can easily see approaching cars and bicycles. Always use the sidewalk whenever possible.
8. Stand out. Wear reflective material and bright coloured clothing. Avoid black and other dark natural colours that will make you blend in to the background, especially at night. Use headlamps at night.
9. Carry a whistle. If you ever need help, or call attention to a situation, a whistle, or other loud noise maker will come in handy.
10. Call the police. If you see something suspicious, let the authorities know so they can investigate.

After saying goodbye to Los Angeles in 2012 and heading to Chicago, openly gay music singer, songwriter, and actor, Levi Kreis, was on a new path and excited for his future.

“My partner, his family, and the people I’ve come to know in Chicago enrich my life in a very authentic way,” Levi reflected on his move from California. “Resolving the years in L.A. and taking a huge risk into the unknown was right for me. It feels light to me.”

In February 2013, Levi released his latest single, So Much Better, with Vision 9 Records and UK label Enriched Records, followed by a mini-solo tour  promoting his latest works.

“I release my sixth album on June 20 call Imagine Paradise,” said Levi, explaining what he has in store for the rest of 2013. “In between all the hustle to promote new media, I’ll keep throwing myself out there for new acting roles.”

Recently Levi has shifted his outlook on life, releasing this fear of control.

“I feel more peace when I trust that something greater than myself is capable of guiding me to my most fulfilling life,” said the very religious songer. “I don’t know what that is, but I’m willing to sit in the question.”

Although deeply moved by spiritual powers, Levi looks inward on himself as his inspiration to continue to grow.

“I’m inspired in those moments where I feel the most distance from the opinions of others,” says Levi. “So much of my past has been controlled by an addiction to people pleasing. It has made my art impure and uninteresting at times, thinking if I did it like this, it would bring me approval by others. In those brief moments of self-empowerment, when my self-expression is untainted by the need for approval, those are the moments that inspire me the most. They grow me, because I then see pieces of me that I might not have seen before.”

It has taken Levi many years to scratch the surface of self-discovery, to put trust in others, and to abstain from what he and others would consider the evils of addiction, he leaves these words of advice for other artists…

“Happiness is not found in the attainment of some idolized accomplishment. It’s a choice. Right where you are. It’s within you, not without you.  Choose to be happy now. Chase nothing.”

Photo contributed

When it comes to anal sex in a gay relationship, there are two roles. Top and bottom. The top is the person who is penetrating, and the bottom is the one being penetrated. For the top, there’s not a lot of prep work that goes into getting ready, however, it’s a whole another ball game for the bottom or someone who is versatile.

Being a bottom and having anal sex takes time and preparation. Here are a few pointers to help understand the fundamentals of having anal sex:

Personal Grooming

Just as you would spend time choosing the right underwear and brushing your teeth, a bottom needs to pay attention to personal grooming. If you prefer to trim and shave, do it the day before. Shaving and waxing can cause nicks and tears in the skin, which could expose you to infections or diseases. Most guys have a weekly body-grooming regime so they are always ready to go with minimum effort.

Preparation

Every bottom has their preferred way of preparing for anal sex. Some prefer to douche or use an enema, while other prefer to soak in a hot bathtub. Whichever your preference, it is important to clean the anal area. It’s not recommended to use soap directly on the anus at any time because it can cause irritations to the mucus membrane.

Relaxing

Being relaxed is the key to enjoyable and pain-free anal sex. Many bottoms complain that it hurts. This is because they have not relaxed their sphincter. It’s incredibly important for your partner to be patient during this time. Foreplay often helps relax.

Lubrication

There are two types of lubrication that are preferred for anal sex; water based and silicon based. Water based lubricants are easy to clean and will not stain. Silicone based lubricants last longer and aren’t as sticky. Lubrication makes penetration easier and more enjoyable. Avoid oil-based lubrication because it breaks down latex condoms.

Safety and Clean-up

Condoms are strongly recommended for anal sex. Condoms reduce the risk of sexually transmitted diseases and making cleaning up a lot easier afterwards.

And it’s not just gay men having anal sex these days either. Many hetrosexual men experiment and enjoy anal sex with their female partners. It’s more common today because people are comfortable in experimenting with their sexuality.

So go on, now that you’ve got the information, give it a try!

Coming out is never easy, no matter how old you are. It’s always difficult, full of fear and anxiety. Sure, it’s hard enough for most coming out to friends, coworkers, classmates, and family members. As hard as it is for the person coming out, it’s equally as hard for parents, especially mothers.

Parents always want the best for their children. They want to see them grow up, get married, and enjoy a successful career. But when their child comes up to them and says “Mom, Dad, I’m gay”, sometimes those dreams come to a shattering halt.

Fortunately for me, that wasn’t the case.

“When you were about a year old, you were bouncing up and down and you had the biggest smile on your face,” recalled my mom. “I had a sneaky hunch. I think he might be gay. I don’t know why. Mothers always know.”

My mom calls it Mothers Intuition. While I was growing up my mom always suspected I was gay, sighting signs from my behaviors to my social interactions.

“I was hurt because you didn’t tell me,” my mom said recollecting the first reaction she had after finding out I was gay. “I don’t know if you thought I wouldn’t love you any more, any less, or disown you. I was hurt. Not that you were gay, but because I didn’t hear it from you.”

I never came out to my mom directly. She found out through a series of events.

“When I actually found out a weight was lifted off my shoulders,” my mom explained. “He’s come into his own. He can live his life the way he wants to.”

My mom wishes she had been more open in discussing sexuality with me when I was growing up, and encouraged me to come out. Fortunately for me, that was not the case. Parents who suspect their child may be gay need to allow them to discover who they are for themselves. Today, there are many great resources available for parents – from PFLAG support groups to the vast amount of information that can quickly be searched on the internet, parents no longer need to wonder what they should do should they suspect their children might be gay.

Most importantly, having a strong, trusting relationship with your children will help break down barriers and increase communication on difficult subjects.

After dealing with her initial reactions to be coming out, my mom had a whole new set of fears facing her.

“Being from a small town, everyone knows everyone’s business,” my mom explained. “Being bullied, teased and being put down or being made fun of. I also worried when you started dating, because of HIV/AIDS. I still worry. I always worry.”

Parents are protective. It’s in their nature. Most parents would have these same reactions too. It’s how a parent outwardly handles their reactions which make the biggest impact.

“Be supportive for who they are and love them to death,” is my mom’s advice for any parent who’s child comes out to them. “They will need it. You got to have that support behind you. We give them the best tools for growing up, and teaching them right from wrong.”

My mom also suggests to parents to join a support group and do their own research online to help get the answers to their unanswered questions.

Coming out isn’t easy for anyone. Thankfully my mom was accepting, understanding, and supportive. Mothers need to remember that they love their children regardless of their sexual orientation.

Thank you mom for your emotional support and unconditional love over the years; it’s certainly helped me in evolving into the person who I am today!

Training for a marathon is a huge commitment. Running five days a week for four months can tire on the body, relationships, emotions, sex drive, and interest in the sport. Although the types of training are different each day of the week, and change in distance and style over the training program, running is very repetitive. The body needs cross-training for multiple reasons.

The most important reason for cross-training is injury prevention. Many runners, beginner to seasoned veteran, experience injuries, which can be prevented by cross training. Cross training is both cardio and strength training.

Here are five great cross-training activities that runners will benefit from:

1. Yoga – perfect for stretching tight muscles and relaxing the entire body. From zen to flow, and especially hot yoga, all types are good. You can do yoga at home or go to a yoga class at a studio.
2. Biking – Much like running, biking is a repetitive movement of the lower body. Biking requires the use of different muscles to fire at different times. Building strength.
3. Swimming – An ideal full-body workout including upper body, back, core and lower-body. Aside from yoga, swimming is the lowest impact cross-training exercise.
4. Weight Lifting – No one said you have to lift as much weight as a professional body-builder, but runners really need to work on upper body and core strength. Weights build valuable muscle that is burned during long runs. Focus on chest, back and core strength exercises. This is key!
5.  Rowing – Rowing machines at a gym are a perfect alternative to running, especially when experiencing running injuries. Rowing machines work the back, core, chest, arms, and lower body.

Instead of worring about getting an injury during training or on race day, try these preventative measures. Cross training should be done 2-3 times per week. Use rest-days and lower-intensity training run days for cross-training activities.

The bond between a father and a son is really important. Fathers are proud to teach their sons life-skills and responsibility. Most fathers avoid talking about their emotions and feelings. But what is it like to be the father of a gay son? To find out the answer, I sat down with my own dad to find out what was on his mind.

“I’ve never distinguished you as being a gay son,” my dad explained, when I asked him what it’s like to be the father of a gay son. “I only you consider you my son.”

Over the years, my dad has played an instrumental role in my life. He is a mentor, someone I can go to for advice on any subject, and has shown his love and support for me unconditionally.

Growing up, my dad, like many parents, suspected I was gay, but never once asked or put any pressure on me to come out. I came out to my dad at the age of 19.

“I felt relief when you told me you were gay,” said my dad. “It wasn’t something I wanted to bring up. It was something I wanted you to tell me.”

His biggest fears and concerns when I came out were for my well-being. Awareness of HIV/AIDS, how my sexual orientation could impact my career, and being gay bashed were all at the top of his list.

“Love and respect your son for who they are and support them in any way you can,” is the advice my dad has for parents who have gay children. “It’s what helps the child out. It’s what a parent needs to do. Once you accept your son as gay, you have to accept all the challenges that will happen in your life too.”

Talking to friends, coworkers and family members, has always been difficult for my dad. He was never sure about how to bring it up and it made him uncomfortable, especially at the beginning. Now, he just tells people and doesn’t worry about what their reaction is.

“My biggest challenge is taking some of the ridicule and teasing and stereotypes of gay’s – both with the people I work with and people I meet and talk to,” said my dad. As a proud father he feels the need to step-in, to correct them, or stand-up for gay rights, which he says would be a full-time job in itself.

Fortunately, my dad understood being gay is genetic and had no impact on the way I was raised. He feels no shame or guilt, nor should any parent, who has a gay son. He’s proud of my personal life achievements as an individual.

Although my dad has not attended a pride parade, he would consider it. Heck, my dad’s even been to a gay bar!

With liberal beliefs, my dad is very supportive of the need for equal rights for all humans. He hopes over time people will be more accepting of all people, especially as younger generations grow up where sexual orientation is no longer an issue and just part of the norm.

My dad said it best when he said, “You can’t change the past. You can only go forward from here. I personally think we have a pretty good relationship.

You know what dad? I think we have a pretty darn good relationship too! Thanks for all your love and support.

Photo contributed.

Hot, sexy, and fun doesn’t even begin to describe 31-year-old gay porn star, Shane Frost. The outgoing adult entertainer never planned on getting into the industry, but it’s safe to say that many of his fans are glad he did.

“My best friend Luke Hass kind of talked me into doing it,” said Shane, describing how he go into doing gay porn. “He had a web site and at the time wanted me to go in on it. For over a year I said no, I was too shy, and couldn’t do it. Shortly thereafter, I broke up with my boyfriend and found myself about $20,000 in debt. Shy or not, I did it. And as they say, the rest is history!”

With his chiseled abs, firm pecs and loaded guns, it doesn’t take a lot for Shane to get ready for an upcoming shoot. He takes care of his body and is always ready to go.

“If I am the bottom, I need to ‘prepare’ down there,” Shane explained as he talked about how he gets ready to go on set for a shoot. “Now that I’m working out more these days, I like to hit the gym before my scene. However; if my call time is at 9:00am, you won’t see me at the gym at 6:00am, as I love my sleep. Sleep is important. If you’re not rested, your scene will look like crap.”

In most scenes that Shane shoots, he’s the bottom. He has lots of experience and knows what it takes to make a scene exciting.

“A GREAT bottom knows how and loves to take dick,” Shane said, describing what he believes makes a good bottom. “Pretty simple. As for being a good top, it’s not rocket science. You get rock hard, stick your cock in and pump! I’ve been with a few guys that I’ve wanted to fuck me and they respond ‘I don’t know how’. I never understood that. Insert and thrust!”

While Shane has worked in the adult industry for a number of years, he has come across some struggles.

“Working with people that you’re not attracted to or working with models that have an attitude the size of Uranus,” joked Shane. “See what I did there?” If you’re going to get into adult entertainment, take note, keep your attitude in check and do the job you’re hired to do, and keep a smile on your face.

Photo contributed

With marathon training well underway, the Sunday long runs are getting longer, the hill training is becoming more intense, and the body is undergoing a lot of pressure. All of these things can cause serious running injuries. It’s important to understand the common running injuries and how to prevent them, or treat them.

“Runners often experience a side stitch while running,” explains Running Room founder and CEO, John Stanton. “The pain usually occurs just under the ribs. The common problem may be related to food allergies, particularly milk, gas, or eating just prior to running.”

Other causes for having a side stitch, also known as cramps, can be from running longer than usual distance or at a higher intensity.

“The diaphragm is usually the source of the problem,” John explains. “The diaphragm is a muscle that separates the chest cavity from the abdomen. It moves up and down as the runner inhales and exhales. It’s subject to a cramp or stitch when it moves more and faster during exercise.”

To avoid getting a side stitch, or if you get it while running, relax your breathing and rhythmic, and work on core strength training, including planks, crunches and v-sits.

Another very common running injury for runners of all abilities are shin splints. Runners typically notice a sharp pain that becomes increasingly noticeable in the lower leg. It can even feel like it’s getting worse just from regular walking.

Shin splints occur when the muscle from the shin bone begins to pull away from the bone. The resulting pain is from the micro-tears and damage to the muscles which have become inflames.

Shin splints can occur on the inside or front side of the lower leg. Typpically there are not any visible signs of swelling. The pain usually disappears once warmed up but will reappear later in the workout, resulting in and early end to the run and incredible pain.

Lack of blood supply to the muscle causes shin splints and should be treated by a physician right away.

Common causes of shin splints include:

• Sudden increase in running activity
• Change in footwear
• Improper running form
• Change of running surface
• Change in running routine or gradient

Photo Credit: Jay Minter

Hill training is an essential part of preparing for a marathon. It builds strength and resistance. It’s been used by runners for decade to increase endurance, speed and strength.

“Find  hill about 400 metres in length, with an incline of 8-10 percent,” said Running Room owner and CEO, John Stanton, recommending the ideal type of hill for training. “Prior to starting the hill session, include a warm up of easy running and light stretching.”

Hill training should be a consistent effort maintained throughout the session, rather than focusing on the pace of the hill. Perfecting running form is critical.

“Keep your chest up and out, with your breathing relaxed,” coached John Stanton. “Your arm movements in rhythm with that of your leg turn over rate. Keep your eyes focused on the top of the hill, just as they would be focused in front of you on a flat stretch.”

Shorter strides should be taken as the incline gets steeper. Throughout hill training you will learn how to pace hills, which builds lower leg strength.

“Think of hills as speed work in disguise,” joked John Stanton. “You build strength and character both useful on race day.”

Last week, gay porn star, Shane Frost, shared thoughts on working in the porn industry. This week, Shane has advice for guys who are interested in getting into the industry, and want to know where to start.

“I really believe that one needs to have a good personality and a good head on their shoulders to make it in this business,” Shane explained. He also suggested that hiring a good agent can really help beginners and can hold your hand until you get to know the ropes.

“This is a tough, cut-throat business, especially when the cameras are off,” Shaned warned. “If one is not careful, they can get lost in it all REAL quick.” It’s solid advice, one that others, including Jayden Grey, have cautioned against before.

Shane has seen plenty of guys who may look hot with their six-pack abs and bulging biceps, but says that many don’t make it past their first year or two because they lack a good personality and common sense.

“I’ve been lucky to have a great boyfriend for almost four years that has kept me grounded and true to who I am as a person,” Shane said describing his success in the industry. “In a nutshell, stay true to yourself and who you really are. Don’t let fame, money, or whatever it is change who you are.”

Great advice Shane!

If you could ask a gay porn star for advice, what question would you ask, and who would you ask? Leave a comment below on this blog post.

A few weeks ago, founder and owner of FabScout Entertainment, Howard Andrew, shared some great tips and advice on what recruitment agencies look for in new models who are interested in getting into the gay porn industry.

If you are going to get into the industry, and if an agent or studio decided they are interested in working with you, a question that comes up almost immediately is if you are a top, bottom, or vers.

What makes a good top?

“Someone who is genuinely a top,” Howard replied. “Not a faker and not a person with a small dick either.”

It’s can be very obvious on set if you claim to be a top and then not be able to get hard or aren’t interested in playing that role. It’s a bit investment to shoot a scene and expectations are high that you can perform when the direction calls “Action!”.

What makes a good bottom?

“Someone who likes it and can take it,” Howard summed up in just a few short words.

It’s also difficult to pretend to be a bottom. If you can’t relax or get into the role, it can delay or totally ruin a day of shooting. Howard also said it’s important for a bottom to be able to stay hard throughout the scene.