All posts tagged with: Questions

When most parents find out their child is gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered, their first reaction is usually emotional, followed by causes for concern. It’s natural for parents to want to protect their children from harm. But their #1 fear when their child comes out is almost always HIV/AIDS.

It can take a child weeks, months, or even years, to muster up the courage to come out. During that time, the child has asked themselves a lot of questions, to make sure that it’s the right thing for them to do. It’s a calculated risk, and not a conversation that is just brought up in casual conversation is most cases.

In the case of parents of gay sons, after they get over their initial emotional reaction of the new information, their thoughts tend to immediately fall towards one of the perceived #1 issues for gay men; HIV/AIDS. Even in recent blog posts with both my mom and my dad, they both admit that their major fears included HIV/AIDS.

It’s a legitimate concern; since the mid 1980’s, HIV/AIDS has had the highest infection rate between gay men. However, HIV/AIDS is not a disease limited to gay men.

For the past three decades there has been significant awareness and education programs targeted to reduce the spread and infection rates amongst the gay community. HIV/AIDS can be transmitted through a number of other ways including heterosexual sex, intravenous drug use, and blood transfusions, just to name a few.

Today, most gay youth and men understand the importance of practicing safer sex. It’s the way today’s generation is educated in school, online, and through social experiences. Condoms are readily available through community outreach programs, drug stores, and at many night clubs and bars. Condoms and sex are no longer taboo topics; it’s part of being a mature, sexually responsible individual.

While most individuals would prefer to remain HIV negative throughout their life, should they contract the virus, it’s no longer an immediate death sentence. A vast amount of research has been done over the past three decades, since the world epidemic was announced, and new drugs and treatments are being used with great success. Many men living with HIV/AIDS today lead very normal, healthy, active lifestyles.

Parents, when your child comes out to you, be there to support them on their journey. They will be scared, nervous, and be looking for your strength and encouragement. Reassure them of your unconditional love. The news may be shocking, difficult, or expected, but don’t immediately worry that your child being gay means that they will get HIV/AIDS and die. Those days are in the past. Embark on an education journey with your son to both learn about ways of practicing safer sex and the real facts and statistics on HIV/AIDS. You’ll be glad you did!

If you have questions about HIV/AIDS, visit the Positive Living Society of BC website. You can also make a financial contribution today to help them with their fundraising goal for the Scotiabank Half Marathon this June.

“Mom, dad, do you have a moment? There’s something I want to tell you.”

Coming out is one of the scariest moments for gay people, especially youth. It’s full of emotion and takes a lot of strength and courage. Making the decision to come out is difficult and takes time.

Here are 10 questions you will want to think about and ask yourself before coming out:

1. Is it the right time? Make sure you are in a good emotional state, of sound mind, and in a comfortable position in life. You cannot predict how people will react and you need to be prepared that no matter the outcome that you are comfortable with those reactions and will be fine no matter the response. Ensure you have a stable foundation and have a clear mind.
2. Are you emotionally ready? It’s never good to come out after breaking up with someone or after the death of a loved one. Coming out takes everyone time to process the information and to adjust to the news. Do it at a time when people are in good spirits. If you’re coming out over Christmas, maybe not make it Christmas morning when opening presents, and definitely not after everyone has had a few too many rum & eggnog. After a Sunday barbeque dinner would be a good time, when everyone is relaxed and enjoying themselves.
3. Have you anticipated the questions you’ll be asked? Yes, there will be questions – many questions! Be prepared for questions and topics ranging from how do you know you are gay, to safer sex, to threats of bullying. Some questions you might be comfortable with, others might be more embarrassing or awkward. Regardless of the questions, always answer honestly. If you don’t know the question, see if you can look up the answers online, research the answer together, or agreed to get the answer and to get back to them in a reasonable amount of time.
4. Will you be able to remain calm? Emotions will run high! Expect everything from tears of joy to words of anger. Just remember to be calm and don’t over react. Refrain from shouting and insults if the conversation turns negative.
5. Can you support yourself? Make sure you have resources like a secure place to stay, money for food, and a safe place to go if you need someone to talk to afterwards. Youth may need to consider options of staying with another family member including aunts/uncles, grandparents, older siblings, or other extended family if it’s not safe to stay at home.
6. Do you have a support network? Youth should look to gay/straight alliances in participating schools, school counselors, or other peers in the community to reach out to if they have questions or need someone to talk to. Parents can access online resources or join a support group, like PFLAG.
7. Have you thought about how you want to come out? It’s not recommended to come out while intoxicated, in a moving car, or in a crowded, public location. Choose a private setting where you are comfortable sharing your news. Do it on your terms and don’t drag it out; get to the point, and quickly.
8. Who are you going to come out to? Sometimes it’s easier to come out to a friend or family member first. Start off by telling the most important person you can trust more important secret to. Predict their reactions. They can support you and help you with your emotions and to deal with your news. You don’t have to tell everyone at the same time. Do it as you feel comfortable.
9. Have you prepared for negative reactions? Sometimes people can get really angry. Have a plan to remove yourself from the situation, safely. Know who you can turn to for help and advice. Never allow yourself to get put into physical danger.
10. Are you proud of who you are? The equality movement has taken giant leaps forward in recent decades. Being gay is not considered to be bad. Peoples views are changing for the better. New laws and protection of equal rights are being implemented around the world. Understand that you are not alone. Many people have helped build a strong, safe community, so you can be comfortable and confident in who you are.

It has been estimated that over 75% of homosexual males will participate in anal sex. It is considered a high-risk. Unprotected anal sex, also known as barebacking, is the riskiest of all forms of sexual intercourse.

The insertive partner is known as the “top” and the partner being penetrated is called the “bottom”. Those who perform either role are referred to as “versatile”.

Generally viewed as less pleasurable and inconvenient, the best way to protect both partners during anal intercourse is with the use of condoms. Condoms are most commonly made from latex, however, they are also available in non-latex. They come in a wide assortment of styles and sizes. Condoms can break or come off during anal intercourse, so both partners must pay attention.

The anus does not produce sufficient natural lubricant so anal intercourse requires a generous application of personal lubricant to prevent tearing. There are three common types of lubricant: water-based, silicon, and a hybrid of water-based and silicone.

Risks of physical damage to the rectum include anal fissures, rectal prolapse, rectal trauma and hemorrhoids. Pain during anal intercourse can be caused by inadequate lubrication, feeling tense, lack of stimulation and anxiousness.

Other dangers during anal intercourse include the transmission of sexually transmitted infections including HIV, chlamydia, herpes, gonorrhea, hepatitis B, hepatitis C, HPV/genital warts, and syphilis. Risk of transmission can be reduced by practicing safer sex and using a condom. The risk is increased through casual sex, barebacking, and sex with someone you do not know.

Although you may believe your partner appears to be symptom free because they look fit and healthy, it is not always the case. It’s the responsibility of both partners to ask the status of their partner and to use safer sex practiced.

Today, thanks to advances in medical research, people infected with HIV and AIDS live longer lives. New drug and support treatments are available; however, unfortunately there is still no cure. There are more than 10 subtypes of HIV/AIDS, which results in an exponential number of strains.

For more information and education on sexual health, visit the Health Initiative for Men website.

For 24 year old gay porn star Travis Irons, walking on to a porn set is pretty normal for him. It’s something he has done many times and he is quite comfortable with it. But for someone who is considering getting into the business, there are many unanswered questions.

Travis has kindly shared some tips and advice for guys who are interested in starting out and need some guidance. His first piece of advice – reality check at the door.

“Don’t think it is just sex on camera, and don’t think you’re going to be the next biggest thing either,” advised Travis. “Yes, you will get told to ‘do this’ and to ‘do that’ and you just need to go with it. “

It’s good advice. Listen to the director and your shoot will go much smoother.

“There is a lot of directing going on,” Travis explained. “It’s actual work. If you are serious, see if you can go on set and watch from behind the scenes before you get in to it to see what it’s like.”

On the day of your shoot you have to get ready long before you even arrive on set.

“It’s a good idea to use a douche bottle before,” Travis explained. “There’s nothing more annoying than having to stop in the middle of a scene.”

Travis also jokingly advised not to eat Mexican food beforehand either. Personal experience? Perhaps.

Once arriving to your filming location remember to turn your phone to vibrate and leave it securely locked up with the rest of your belongings. There’s no need to have your phone with you. It will just distract you and the others on set.

“I’m not really a size queen, so I’m not going to day a big cock,” said Travis as he described what makes a good top. “I would say really good kissing and holding tight.”

So what does Travis think a good bottom is?

“It’s more than just laying there,” Travis explained. “You have to get into it. Be clean.”

With these few tips, Travis is confident that you will be off to a good start on your first appearance on camera.

“Just be prepared for the whole world to see you naked,” Travis said half-heartedly.

So there you have it – advice on getting into the world of gay adult entertainment from Travis Irons.